The DVD

Today I watched a DVD of my pappaw that was taken a year before he died. He was being goofy and hollering like he always did. It has been a month and three days since he died. And I miss him. On the DVD he put on one of the grandkids veggietales hats and made funny faces at the camera. He was such a fun and wonderful man. I miss him so much. The DVD was taken back before the pain and the blackouts began, before he knew he was going to die. You see, he died in a car accident but he knew he was going to die before it happened. I guess some people know these things. They know intuitively that their time is up. My pap was one of those people. He told everyone that he loved them and tried to spend time with everyone before he died. Except me. I was in Ukraine. I saw him as soon as I got back from my trip. BUT it was only for a few minutes and I never did see my granpa again. I came by on fathers day, the day before he died, but he wasn't home. The fact that I haven't been around much since I went to school doesn't escape my notice and I grieve because of that lost time. He was my favorite person in the whole world. He was so proud of me for going to school and making something of myself. My family has told me that he talked about me all the time. Bragged on me to everyone. I can't believe that he is gone. He was so young. He was sixty-eight. Hardly old enough to worrying about leaving this world. I miss him! I want him back but I will never see him again. Not until I go be with him in heaven. I miss his jokes. I miss his hugs. I just miss him.