Today my family came to visit me. I really miss being with them all the time. I know it will be even harder when I go to Graduate school (if I go) and I won't see them half as often. I got to have a one-on-one chat with Brian, who I haven't seen in weeks, and I hugged my sister to death. Jon ran around and eat all my food (which is expected of a growing boy) and Mom was mom. It was fabulous.
I have to brag on my mother for a minute. Do you see this photo? Our ages are beside us.. I think I was thirteen...
My mother is one of the strongest people I know. She sacrificed a lot for us over the years- even to the point of suffering herself. I don't think that I can ever, ever repay my mother for all of her sacrifices. Even when we didn't have anything- she kept on. She is the most incredible person I know. I want her to be happy and free and loved. I want her to know how beautiful she is.
After all of the things my family has endured, I think we turned out okay. Yes, we have scars- scars that will follow us always- but I think that it has made us a better family. I struggle with despair and anger, hurt and humiliation, low self-esteem and doubt every single day of my life. But, without God those things wouldn't have fashioned me into who I am. And even though I am overcome with life sometimes, God doesn't let me go. Even if I am not what I want to be, even if I am not loved the way I deserve, I cannot lose. The love my Savior shows me fills up all the wounds and soothes all the scars that have ever been inflicted upon me.
My prayer is that I can somehow show my family that the love that God has for them.... even when everything else looks impossible to overcome...is able to protect and guide them. Even when the world crashes down around them.
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