You watch romantic comedies, right? You know the quiet, dorky, bookworm-ish girl who meets Prince Charming at the end? Well, I’m that girl- except for that whole Prince Charming part. I have been accused of being a recluse- a social failure. I prefer my books, a nice cup of tea, and some soft, harmonious music over a noisy crowd any day. What’s wrong with that?
I admit it, I do. I am completely terrified of the opposite sex. I have very few male friends and even then I surround myself only with those who seem the most harmless, a.k.a. those I am not drawn to. Now, it’s not that I don’t want to get married someday- actually, you could say that I want it more than I should. I am a complete mess. Obviously. Most women who want to get married (whether it is soon or later in life), date. I would go as far as to say that it is impossible to get married if you don’t talk to men. Looking at it in this light, I probably seem like a ridiculous ninny.
Looking back, I don’t think my life could have been any different than it was. I did everything the right way. I attended church with my family and worked hard in school. I went on church trips, cleaned the church, served food at church socials, and worked youth camps. I worked for my own money. I got into to college on scholarship. I graduated cum laude and shook my fist in defiance of my small town heritage. I even taught Sunday school. And yet, nothing has gone the way I planned it.
When I was five, I knew I was going to college. My mom said I came home from my first day of kindergarten and announced that I was going to go and become a Psychologist. I graduated with a degree in Psychology last month. I have always been responsible and I feel like I grew up too quickly—much sooner than my parents ever expected me to, I’m sure. At twelve, I felt like an old woman. I couldn't help but think that something was wrong with me.
I didn’t date. I still don’t date. I have never even been asked on a date. And that was not part of the plan. I wasted most of my preteen years and teens waiting for that “special” guy to come along. When he didn’t I saw that as another failure. It’s hard being the only one in your close group of friends who hasn’t experienced anything romantic in her life. And it’s even worse when you have a negative body image to go with it. However, I intend to change all of that -Starting today.
So, what does a young woman of twenty-two years do on a Friday night?
