Just Thinking About Life

Last night I read a book called Love Starts with Elle by Rachel Hauck. It was awesome. Of course I was sad when I finished it. As always I enjoyed the book too fast. Next book I will savor every page, each sentence. Read at a soft, slow pace. I hope to someday own a bookstore of my very own. It will probably not happen but it would be incredible if I could do it.
I saw this amazing little cupboard at the Habitat store. It was very old and authentic. I loved it. Sadly I have no money to purchase it and my parents felt that they should buy me shoes instead of the cupboard. I'm not complaining. Really. But since y'all know me pretty well you understand where my priorities lie. Considering I pretty much have had the same shoes for three or more years. I'm not kidding. I mean who needs new clothes when they have books and cool, antique cupboards? See my point?

Anyway, I finished registering for classes today. I am now the proud student who can claim six classes and three labs a week. Oh kill joy. No, I refuse to get pessimistic about my classes! Jesus wouldn't want it! I will be brave and enjoy my classes to the fullest!
Besides, the sooner I am at school the sooner I can see my new roomies and my new apartment! Things are looking up!
:)

Oscar.. the cannibalistic fish

Actually, he isn't named Oscar. I don't know if Jon has named them yet. Yes, there are Two! Jonathan bought two Oscar fish today. Apparently they are like pariah and eat other fish. Scary if you ask me. To be quite honest I am terrified of fish and having fish in the house that eat the innocent goldfish types for dinner.. doesn't quite sit well with me. And the orange one is always staring at me. Like he wants to taste my flesh. Yes, he only got him today but I have been keeping my eye on the little monsters.
I was somewhat concerned so I googled this "oscar" on the net. Apparently the oscar is the most intelligent of fish. Like a real pet! He knows the face of his owner and will even interact. Kind of creepy if you ask me. I know I am going to have nightmares that he is watching me tonight. One time I had a fish attack me. This has obviously scarred me for life. I keep thinking this murdering fish is going to come chew my hand off. Or worse.

On a lighter note, Jonathan thinks they are absolutely fantastic.

Cosmopolitan Pink

So, I did this cool thing today. I tried to order a laptop off the Internet. Since I am paying with two different methods, they have to call me to finish it up. However, I am not deterred from my goal. I will own a new laptop! So, beware Sony! I will be awaiting your call! Did I mention that it is pink!   Okay, so moving on. Breaking dawn comes out in eight days. Eight days! Allison and I are eagerly awaiting its arrival! And CeCe is too of course. Once it comes life will once again be sane... But then we will be going crazy waiting for the movie!!!! 

Hope of Life Ministries

Hope of Life ministries in Guatemala was founded by Carlos Vargas. I had to privilege to be a part of a Leadership conference he spoke at during my Fall 2007semester at Lee University. I have included a link below if anyone would be interested in checking it out for themselves. I hope to go down to his orphanage myself in the Fall. Hope of Life ministries accepts volunteers. If you are interested in this, it would be a great blessing for these people.

The Telephone

"When I was just as far as I could walk from here today
There was an hour
All still
When leaning with my head against a flower I heard you talk.
Don't say I didn't, for I heard you say-
You spoke from that flower on the windowsill-
Do you remember what it was you said?"
"First tell what it was you thought you heard."
"Having found the flower and driven a bee away,
I leaned my head,
And holding by the stalk,I listened
and I thought I caught the word-What was it?
Did you call me by my name?
Or did you say-
Someone said, 'Come'- I heard it as I bowed."
"I may have thought as much, but not aloud."
"Well, so I came."- Robert Frost (1916)


I love this poem. The man wants to apologize to the woman he loves for something he said.. but he doesn't want to come right out and say it. He uses a flower to apologize to her. Of course, she isn't all innocent and most likely said her own choice of words. It's reconciliation. I love it!

The DVD

Today I watched a DVD of my pappaw that was taken a year before he died. He was being goofy and hollering like he always did. It has been a month and three days since he died. And I miss him. On the DVD he put on one of the grandkids veggietales hats and made funny faces at the camera. He was such a fun and wonderful man. I miss him so much. The DVD was taken back before the pain and the blackouts began, before he knew he was going to die. You see, he died in a car accident but he knew he was going to die before it happened. I guess some people know these things. They know intuitively that their time is up. My pap was one of those people. He told everyone that he loved them and tried to spend time with everyone before he died. Except me. I was in Ukraine. I saw him as soon as I got back from my trip. BUT it was only for a few minutes and I never did see my granpa again. I came by on fathers day, the day before he died, but he wasn't home. The fact that I haven't been around much since I went to school doesn't escape my notice and I grieve because of that lost time. He was my favorite person in the whole world. He was so proud of me for going to school and making something of myself. My family has told me that he talked about me all the time. Bragged on me to everyone. I can't believe that he is gone. He was so young. He was sixty-eight. Hardly old enough to worrying about leaving this world. I miss him! I want him back but I will never see him again. Not until I go be with him in heaven. I miss his jokes. I miss his hugs. I just miss him.

I Kissed Dating Goodbye

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." -C.S. Lewis


I am rereading a book by Joshua Harris called I Kissed Dating Goodbye. It is incredible! I think that I have been using my time as a single young adult in all the wrong ways. No, I haven't been pining and hoping to be in a relationship- actually, it's the last thing I want right now. However, there are so many things that I can do with this time for the kingdom of God. It's ridiculous that I haven't realized this before and now that I have, I am disappointed in all the time that I have wasted doing- what? Watching too many movies and sleeping in late on Saturdays? Hardly the noble things of God.
In April, I volunteered at a soup kitchen in Cleveland. Those people are part of the kingdom. I remember telling myself that I wanted to come back and do this again. I wanted to give some amount of hope to these lost souls. To help them find Christ. I never did.
The Bible tells us to watch over the widows and the orphans. There were many there. There were men there who do not know the love of Christ. Who probably did not know the love of another human being. And children who probably feared their mothers more than respected or loved them. And I'm thinking, What have I done to help these people? Absolutely nothing! The amount of money I spend on myself is probably more money than they have seen on months.
I am looking at myself and seeing so many flaws, so many things that I must fix before I can be anything like what God expects of me. I should be using my time to spark a new flame of hope inside the hearts of those who have nothing left.
I may not be a teen statistic- I may not have a baby that I had in high school or a dropout. BUT I am in no position to say that I am living the way that God wants me to live. Saying that I am a Christian and doing absolutely nothing to help the community or my fellow brethren does not show me as the chosen bride of Christ. Instead, it shows how self-righteous and hypocritical I really am.

I am not writing this to anyone but myself. I know what I need to do to be who God has called me to be.

Going to Ukraine and learning that God is not a priority and teen pregnancies are encouraged. To find that marriage is almost unheard of and that having sex as a teenager is unquestionably accepted as the norm is not okay. Looking around me I find that even as young adult Christian men and women we are flirting with all the same boundaries yet we do not even see it.
What makes us different? What do nonChristians see when they look at us?

I do not think we would like what we hear most of the time.

And I do not think that I can be this way any longer. I think that its time to start working for the kingdom and bringing others into his Glory.

Inconceivable

Ibelieve that I may be technologically illiterate. This is unfortunate and quite sad considering I took Computer Literacy two semesters ago in college. I had just finished the most amazing blog about my discoveries yesterday in my Bible study when the computer did some weird clicky thing and I lost everything I had just wrote! I tried to recover it. You know, press go back or whatever but alas, I did not succeed.

Another thing, my laptop does a lot of weird stuff. My clickers don't work on the mouse pad anymore and it randomly shuts itself off. I promise that I did nothing to antagonize my precious computer but honestly, what am I supposed to do about it? Everyday I fear that it will turn off for the last time. It always works fine for Mark. Maybe it's me. I can't wear watches because of some component in my blood that stops time. It's ridiculous... but maybe, just maybe it's all connected somehow!

I really don't have much to say about my day. I really didn't do much. Unless you count taking down some soap scum.. because I totally kicked some house cleaning butt today! I feel rather proud of myself and want to dance a little jig. Of course, my dance skills are rather wack and I tend to hurt myself when dancing. I am definitely the dance queen!

I had the perfect cup of tea today. Irish Breakfast Tea is my absolute favorite tea on the planet and I enjoyed a nice cup of love on the front porch this morning.

Have you ever seen Princess Bride? It is pretty much the best movie ever. Favorite line of the whole movie "Hallo, my name is Inigo Montoya, You killed my father. Prepare to Die."

He says it about a hundred times in the movie. It's pretty much hilarious. Or the famous "Inconceivable!" line. Ah, I think I will watch that movie tomorrow.

Did mention that I got married? Yes, CeCe and Lins were quite upset that I "beat" them to the altar. I may look happy in the picture but on the inside I am screaming for help! I mean, who is this man and how did I get here?!!!!

Premonition

So, I started writing a book a while back. I had written a few chapters but got caught up in school and never got to finish. Well, I got back from Ukraine at the end of May and pulled it out and started editing and working on it again. I had started to get really excited about it and finally got the nerve to tell someone what I was doing- I am normally very private about these things. Lindsay was really supportive and I was getting ready to maybe even show her my work. My life was turned upside down when we took a little trip to Wal-mart. We took a nice stroll over to the book section as usual and that is when I saw it. Yes, someone had already written my book! Every detail- her name, where her parents were from, everything! It was like a slap in the face. I yelled for Lindsay and she was completely shocked as well.
You see, this has happened before. Not with a book, but a movie. Since I was a kid I had the same dream over and over again. It was weird I had it every few months and it always had the same plot and details. One day I am sitting with my family when the new Sandra Bullock movie pops up. I literally choked on my soda and spit it out my nose simultaneously. Ever heard of Premonition? Uh-huh, that was my dream. Every last detail.
I started writing another book. I hope that I get it written before someone else does.

Back From Vacation

We just got back from vacation this morning. And I am so glad to be back! I keep thinking that I get used to sitting around and being bored. It never happens. When I get back to school, a job is the first thing on my agenda. I have read several books this summer. The most recent is called The Guy I'm Not Dating By Trish Perry. And the best part is that one of the other books I am reading by Joshua Harris is mentioned several times in the book.

If reading my little blog, I recommend this book. It is hilarious and definitely has some great moral lessons.