Last night, I was up late and could not fall asleep. I began looking through old stuff and perusing my Better Homes and Gardens magazines-yet again. And then I saw my Bible sitting on my bedside table. And I felt ashamed of myself. I had been trying to get my mind off of all my problems and worries and yet I had hadn't taken all of them to my Father. Being the person I am -independent and strong willed- I was trying to fix everything all by myself. I was already planning it out- "I need to call and cancel this, I should do that instead of the other, this is a frivolity that I can discard."
I still had my faith, I still had my trust in God, I still felt close to Him, but I wasn't letting Him take over.
I picked up my Bible and opened it to the Psalms- it always automatically opens there- and started to go to Job. (Job is my favorite)
But something caught my eye on the page.
And this was it:
Before the mountains were brought forth, Or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, Even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God.
Psalm 90:2
And in that moment, I knew that regardless of what I perceived as essential or unessential, that what I saw as a mountain that was just too BIG for me to handle- God knew my fears, He knew my heart and He loves me enough to knock me off my pedestal so he can lift me up.
Life with God is so much better than the alternative.
1 comment:
Though I don't think this is exactly what you meant, I'm really bad about reading everything but my Bible. Especaiily when I just can't seem to sleep.
Last night, I kept telling myself "Put the book down, Jessie. Read your Bible before you fall asleep."
I guess it's just my flesh running to everything but God, expecting those thngs to slove my problems, when they can't. Then, I get frustrated, and I wonder why life suddenly got dark again. So silly.
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