Lead Me and I will Follow

I have been asking God for direction. Sometimes I find myself wanting something that God is not ready for me to have- such as a career or...even possibly a family. Okay, so I know I am not exactly groomed for a family. I mean, don't you have to know how to starch clothing (whatever that is) and be super woman- always keeping things neat and orderly? Let's not even get started on my career- I cannot imagine how I would make school fit into that picture. Anyway, lately I have found myself wanting things that God doesn't have for me yet. And I am okay with waiting...really.

I had a wonderful experience the other day when I was reading my Bible and studying the spiritual discipline of submission. There was a quote from Thomas a Kempis, which said, "As thou wilt; what thou wilt; when thou wilt."

I have been learning that I can have my dreams and aspirations- no one can take those from me but I am also learning that when I submit to Jesus and give him my will, when I give Him my future, that is when I truly find what I am mean to do.

I am finally at peace within myself heart and mind about....everything. Things that have happened to me, things I have done to others, big hurts, little hurts, misunderstandings...

They all fade away in His glory.

Sure, the future that God has planned doesn't fit my personal standards of "achievement" but I know that this is His will for me.

Now, I guess I am not ready to share my revelation with the world yet. I am not really sure how to do so. For now I guess I can simply state- It is nothing that I intended and everything I knew I would be.

I have been looking to others and trying to find myself in their plans, happiness, and even their sorrows. But I know now that I am Me. I am exactly who Jesus intended me to be-A little quirky, compassionate, obstinate and stubborn at times, melodramatic, and, sometimes, comical.

I can handle that.

All I can end with is this:

I am trusting- and certain- that God knows me better than myself. I am trusting Him with the love story of my life. - And regardless of anything else, I can be certain that to Him, everything about my existence is part of a beautiful love poem that is Me. I really can't argue with that.

As thou wilt; what thou wilt; when thou wilt.

For more information on the spiritual disciplines, please read Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth By: Richard J. Foster