I'm having a bad day. Nothing is going my way, I am feeling alone, and I just don't want to do it anymore. I always thought that if you were trying to follow Gods' will, then things would just work out- Oh, God wants me to ____? Well, sure.-- and then I do it. But no. It's never like that. You get beat up pretty badly by people you love, people you assumed cared for you, and you never quite recover.

Like me.

I keep discovering these horrifying facets on the people I love. As I sit there completely dumbfounded and disturbed, they continue to poke at me, taunt me, and ultimately, toss me aside. Honestly, what's the point? I can only be Me. I can only let it go for so long. Forgive 70x7. Got it. But what if it's been a thousand instances of forgiveness?

Over and over again, I am knocked down. Yet, time and again, I stand back up- dust myself off and continue forward. Only.. lately the dust is sticking.. and I am suffocating underneath it all.

Friendships fade, families bicker, and we fall in and out of love... but is it wrong for me to want more than that?

I catch a glimpse of something beautiful in the distance but I can't quite get a hold on it for all the dust. It keeps slipping from my hand and disappearing into the thickness. This desert leaves me parched and sick. Until i feel I will die here.

But, I hold to His promise over me. To the plan he has for my life. I hold steadfast to the strength of His arms and I will allow Him to heal my broken heart, my bruised soul, because I know that He is the only one who can save me from this wasteland.

So, I wait. And I walk. I press forward through the dust, the mud, the heat. Because I know that He will bring me into His glory and He will hold me in His arms. He is my everything. He is my life.

Be glad then, you children of Zion, And rejoice in the LORD your God; For He has given you the former rain faithfully, and He will cause the rain to come down for you-- The former rain. And the latter rain in the first month.

The Threshing floors shall be full of wheat, And the vats shall overflow with new wine and oil.

So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locusts have eaten,

The Crawling locust,

The consuming locust,

and the chewing locust,

My great army which I sent among you.

You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied,

And praise the name of the LORD your God,

Who has dealt wondrously with you;

And my people shall never be put to shame.

Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel:

I am the LORD your God

And there is no other.

My people shall never be put to shame.

Joel 2: 23-27